What a weird, strange, ethereal, full of "wisdom" kind of day it's turning out to be.
I woke up this morning really dehydrated to the point of having a headache and low energy. I drank a ton of water and felt better. I probably "should" be working on music or promotion or a some video today but I'm not feeling it. What I'm feeling instead is this.....
I've been thinking a lot lately about what it means to be a musician these days. It's so easy to dismiss it all as something too hard, too difficult, to demanding, too this, too that. Yes, it's incredibly difficult to constantly reconcile the inconsistent and sporadic income and my heart's desires to express all the love and emotions with a world that demands consistency (ie. paying bills, rent, food, etc.) There are two things that are coming out of this for me.
The first is it takes a TON of energy to keep creating in a world looking for the next sound bite. This is why days like today happen. We (myself included) have been conditioned to keep scrolling for the next piece of 15 to 30-second “story” or “reel.” It’s rare these days to just stop and really take in the beauty of what someone’s doing. I’m not sure what the answer is to this except to just say simply slow down and let what you’re looking at fill you instead of just getting a dopamine rush. How do you know the difference? Being fulfilled leaves you inspired to maybe try something you’ve always wanted to try or finish that thing you started six months ago. I truly believe one of the best things we can do for each other when we make art. Getting a dopamine rush keeps you on the couch scrolling for more.
The second realization is, my making music and the music I've made so far is not going to mean to the same to others as it does to me. This is a hard one to swallow because of my super close relationship to this art and how it's kept me on an even keel. It means the world to me. But the reality is my music, is just a microscopic offering in a HUGE ocean of sound and it's not always going to make blip on the radar. This is both encouraging and discouraging to me but most important, it’s keeping me aware enough to recognize and find my way to the people who love this music as much as I love making it and try to not worry about trying to appeal to the rest. I think of Kevin Kelly's 1000 True Fans theory (find 1000 true fans who are crazy about what you do and that give you a $100 a year each and you make $100,000 a year) and really, that's all I can ever need. Anything more than that, is a bonus.
So that’s what’s on my mind this strange, odd but kind of enlightening day. Thanks for reading this (and letting me rant) if you got this far. Have a great day where ever you are in the world and if you’re feeling inspired go do the thing!
Cheers,
Pam