For a long time now, I've been wanting to write about how the practice of music has played a role in my practice of being human. There have been so many juicy things I've learned through my music practice that have translated to my life as a human. So, I'm looking at the recognition of this as one of the gifts I can throw out there to maybe be of help to others in practical and magical ways. I am going to begin with the subject of worthiness because I know it's something that so many of us, especially artists, struggle with. I know this struggle well, so I'm looking at this as an opportunity to share some of the things I do to recognize my own worth as potential suggestions for you.
Like so many other people, I've struggled with worthiness issues. I know it may not seem like it on the outside but there have been times when self-doubt and wondering if I'm even capable of presenting anything of value has creeped into my life. Lately, this has been creeping into my music making where the voice of this inner critic tries to convince me that my music “doesn't really make that much of a difference and that the world has survived without it before and will survive without is again.” Yadda, yadda, yadda.
If you do the same thing, if you hear the voice of this inner critic, the first thing to do is to recognize that this isn't your true voice. They are the voices of those who have doubted you. Don't let them persuade you. Even if they are your parents, they don't know who you really are like you do because they aren't living your life. You are. And because you're the one living your life, only you can really know who you are, what you're made of and how truly feel about that. This is one thing that being a practitioner of music has shown me - that connection to my inner self that's made of love, playfulness and the enthusiasm of just being. That connection has helped me shrug off most peoples doubts, disregards, criticisms and even resentments. You don't necessarily have to be an artist either to access this inner part of yourself. Find what lights you up. It can be ANYTHING - art, music, gardening, cooking great food, playing with your kids or grand kids, teaching, dancing, fostering dogs or cats, building shelters for the homeless, anything. Let it be that thing that lights you up so much inside that nothing else matters. This is the art of being human. There’s no more reason to let the dirt of other people’s insecurities keep piling on top of us.
The second thing is to watch who you surround yourself with. Who we are around is critical and it can go without saying that being around more supportive and encouraging people is way better than being around naysayers and critics. Notice how you feel around people. If they don't feel good to you, they're not your people. This isn't to blame them for their criticism or judgments but more to discern who feels good to be around and who doesn't. If they DO feel good to you, they're keepers. And if they are your cheerleaders, treat them like gold because these folks are rare and precious and on your side. I've learned (and am still learning) to share the music I make with people who appreciate it most. My music isn't for everyone but it IS for those who who love to dance, smile, hug, show kindness and feel good. When I see how my music makes people feel happy, I know these are my people and i know I've done my job well and it makes me want to make more music for them. One side note about those folks who aren't your people. Don't blame them.
The third and last thing I want to share is to simply love being human. This journey is quite literally a once in a lifetime opportunity and experience. You will never have another one like it. I know we all run across a lot of fears that are thrown around in this world and that so many of us, including myself are taught to stay small but when we stunt our own growth for the sake of remaining in the norm, it can be quite painful. Another way of putting this is being that flower bud that is afraid to blossom until remaining a bud becomes too painful. You don't necessarily live out loud but if you find there is something you've been wanting to do, I encourage you to just take a step and do it. You don't have to be perfect. Just curious and courageous enough to try it and see what happens. Just as an example, this is why I'm stepping out of my own comfort zone and writing this blog. It gets me past that “I'm just a musician. What would I know?” mentality. I'm coming to find, I know plenty because I've experienced it. And now I'm here, not to pontificate so much but more to share what I've learned and what I'm still learning.
This brings me to close by saying that I believe by throwing all of this out there, it's in hopes to encourage and support you to show up how you would like to show up. What are your dreams? Where can you take that first step? This takes work for sure and sometimes that work isn't always going to feel good but like I mentioned before, if it's something that really lights you up, nothing else matters. You'll know it when you feel it.
I hope you can find this helpful. I know it doesn’t have much to do with music but it does in the way of letting music be my catalyst to be confident enough to write blogs like this. Do, let me know your thoughts. I would love to hear them because it only helps all of us by lighting each others candles.
Be kind, be curious, take baby-steps is needed and take good care of yourselves and of each other.
Lots of Love, Pam